It was always about what you really want, what else can one truely write or boast off. Yesterday when involved in a late night conversation with my own mind, which was a typical male chauvanist alter self, ( these late night conversations have become so severe since my home coming) i asked what do you really want, he said money, fame, lust,with a "no" after each word and i conclude it as a desire for lust. Suddenly some thing poped on my head which said its all nothing after the peak of a orgasm. There is'nt any pleasure after you attain that. Thats something which could be felt when "it is". It could disappear like a blown of candle light. So then the most exciting, pleasure which could be felt my any men or women ever in their life, disappears when its done.And again we search for it. Like a cycle,like a part of something. Attached to some point.Since i always loved to escape from the world, i tried cutting it off. They say that the beauty of that. But i did'nt agree into it. I keep on searching the real on which exist beyond existence, reach beyond heights. They say we should enjoy each and every single moment of life. But right now my alter says that we just try to feel we are enjoying it, have you ever truely embrassed your life i bet you. That would be when you meet your passion. Its something above money, above fame, above lust. The desire to be in love with something which keeps you going,which will never allow you to look back, and loves comes next.